Movie Review: Pearl Harbor

PLOT:

Pearl Harbor is a classic tale of romance set during a war that complicates everything. It all starts when childhood friends Rafe and Danny become Army Air Corps pilots and meet Evelyn, a Navy nurse. Rafe falls head over heels and he and Evelyn and Rafe hook up. Then Rafe volunteers to go fight in Britain, and Evelyn and Danny get transferred to Pearl Harbor. While Rafe is off fighting, suddenly one morning comes the air raid we now know as “Pearl Harbor.”

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Action. Say what you will about Michael Bay, he knows two things, action and beautiful women. I’ll get to the ladies a little later, but good googly moogly are these action scenes beautiful, particularly the titular attack. Bay does a great job of showing not only the CG expulsions, but also some practical ones, as well. The dogfight in the air is also something special, but being an Air Force brat, I’m a little biased. I do wish we could have seen some naval battles besides the bombing of carriers and the men going down with the ship, but that’s a personal preference and not a knock against the film.

Casualties of war. War is hell! While this film is far from the realism one can see in a film such as Saving Private Ryan, there are times when you feel the weight of what is going on. First, the first hour or so of the film is the calm before the storm, if you will. Every time we see the hospital, it is empty, save for one or two patients getting checked out. The floors and sheets are pristine and the windows are open with air flowing like its an air freshener commercial. Then the bombing happens and all hell breaks loose. No longer do we see this bright center of bliss, but rather a dark, blood soaked vision of horror. That is nothing compared to the scene where the men are stuck in the USS Arizona. As people are valiantly trying to get open it up and get them out before it downs, a couple of hands pop out. As the water completely consumes the compartment, we see these men leave this mortal coil. It is quite the sad sight. For those that enjoy seeing more suffering, earlier on it is shown these same men get stuck in the overturned ship. All this really shows how even though WWII is glamourized, this was a war and not fun!

Inspirational propaganda. FDR was probably the greatest wartime president this country has had. The man was a living inspiration, of that there is no arguing. There are a couple of scenes that are more legend than fact, particularly when he is talking to a defeatist room of military advisers. For those not familiar, Roosevelt was stricken with a case of polio and it confined him to a wheelchair. As each of these advisors are giving cowardly excuses for why the US should not retaliate against the Japanese, FDR backs up, locks the wheels of his chair and stands up, telling the room to “not tell what he can or can’t do [sic]”. It is obvious cinematic drama, but it works to really get the cause going. One can only wonder had he done that for real what the result would have been.

What didn’t I like?

Love and war. There are 2 major plotlines in this picture. One is the war effort, obviously, but the other is a love story. Now, alot of WWII stories and portrayals seem to be romanticized, but this one really takes the cake. I don’t really have an issue with the love stuff until it becomes a triangle complete with Ben Affleck’s character coming back from the dead, the pregnancy of Kate Beckinsale’s character, and the convenience of the bombing. This was just too much drama for me, not to mention it takes up way too much time. Cutting some of this out would drastically reduce the runtime of this nearly 3 hour film.

Attack on Cuba. I wasn’t going to bring this up, but when we meet Cuba Gooding. Jr.’s character he is competing in a boxing match. Quite noticeable is that he’s a light skinned man and all the other African American sailors are very dark skinned. Maybe that was coincidence, maybe it was done for a visual effect so that Cuba could stand out. I do not know. What I do know is that the film goes out of its way to let us know that Cuba’s character is more than a cook, only for him to have once scene where he does something (shooting down a plan with the ship’s gun) and that’s it. It appears that his character was a real person, which makes this “portrayal” even worse! Fret not, though Gooding had already played a historical Naval officer before this film and had the whole film (Men of Honor) to respectfully portray him.

Pretty nurses. Earlier I mention Bay’s penchant for casting beautiful women. There is no shortage of that here with Kate Beckinsale, Jamie King, Jennifer Garner, Sara Rue, and others. What is my issue with these women? Beckinsale is one the 3 main characters alongside Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett. Jamie King gets a small subplot with her dating and getting engaged to one of military boys before he meets an unfortunate end during the bombing. Jennifer Garner seems to be the comic relief, as well as the sensitive one, but she doesn’t seem to have much to do, which is really what can be said for all of them. Sure, we see them saving lives in the latter half of the film, but for the rest of the time, they are just (extremely) pretty faces. Nothing wrong with a little eye candy, but they should have something to do, especially if they have a profession where they are needed!

Final verdict:

What did I think of Pearl Harbor? This is not the film for you to watch if you are looking to write a paper on the attack. There are numerous historical inaccuracies. However, this is a fun film to watch, regardless. Bay is a masterful director when it comes to action and he has a hard on for the military, so this is right up his alley. For some reason, this film gets a lot of hate and I still do not know why. Action, drama, beautiful ladies, a swingin’ soundtrack…what more could you ask for? I highly recommend you check it out, particularly this Memorial Day weekend!

4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Transformers: The Movie

PLOT:

The Decepticons have invaded and taken over the Autobots’ home planet, Cybertron. The Autobots are determined to fight back and go to Autobot City on Earth for supplies. Decepticons hijack and take over the ship, resulting in a fierce battle between the Autobots and Decepticons, the result of which is devastating. A new threat to the Autobots appears in the form of Unicron, a massive planet-devouring transformer

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Improved animation. Saturday morning cartoon animation, particularly in the 80s, was not usually the best. More often than not, they recycled backgrounds, voices, etc, all as a way to cut costs. Bringing one of these shows to the big screen required an upgrade in how it would be made. It is more than obvious that time was spent adding detail to the characters. For instance, in an early scene where Optimus Prime is rolling through Autobot City, you can see the shine on his grill and the reflection of the Decepticons he runs over. A few minutes of extra work and detail went a long way!

New and old. As time has passed, it has become public knowledge that this film was made to discontinue most of the old toys and introduce the new batch. Nothing wrong with that, per se, but I do wish they would have found a better way to pass the torch, as it were. In the first few minutes of this film, many of the characters we became attached to in the original series were unceremoniously ended with one shot. On the flip side, the new characters, such as Hot Rod, Springer, Kup, the Junkions, Galvatron, the Quintessons, etc, are introduced without skipping a beat. Are they replacements for what we’ve lost? No, but they can form there own connections with the audience.

Soundtrack. From the opening rock beat of Lion’s cover of the Transformers theme to the whimsical strains of Weird Al’s “Dare to Be Stupid”, and culminating in the uplifting “You’ve Got the Touch” by Stan Bush, this soundtrack brings it all and really sets the mood for the actions on the screen. This is a soundtrack heavily rooted in the 80s and it is just as enjoyable nearly 40 years later as it was when it was originally released. Aside from the soundtrack, the score, by Vince DiCola, set the stage nicely for all the major and minor events that happen in this film.

What didn’t I like?

Mistakes. There are quite a few mistakes in the picture. I’m not talking like Galvatron’s orange cannon being purple in one scene, no there are scenes where dead characters appear out of nowhere, one of the Dinobots is missing for all but one scene, some colors are mixed up, etc. For a major motion picture such as this, these are mistakes that should not have happened. From my understanding, there was a bit of a rush in this production. That still doesn’t excuse all the mistakes. The people wants quality and most of these mistakes could have been avoided had they just taken a little bit more time, rather than slapping it all together.

Shark planet. As many times as I have seen this film, the scene where Hot Rod, Kup, and the Dinobots land on the planet of the Sharkticons just brings everything to a grinding halt, save for the universal greeting. Other than setting up the Quintessons as a bit of a threat for the upcoming season of the show, there really was no point to these scenes. Crash landing on the planet is one thing but this is the part of the film that stop short of grinding to a halt. Thanks goodness for the scenes happening on the planet of Junk.

Orson Welles. Sometimes actors will pass away before their final project is finished, or while it is in post-production, never seeing the final product. Some of these cases have resulted in their last film being horrible or forgettable. In the case of Orson Welles, who voices Unicron, I do not think it would have mattered had he lived to see this film’s release because the director had to re-record and mix his lines thank to Welles’s poor health. It makes one wonder how menacing Unicron would have been had Welles done this in his prime.

Final verdict:

What did I think of Transformers: The Movie? This is a film that holds a special place in my heart, as it is one the first films I saw in theaters. Also, being an 80s kid, Transformers were some of my go to toys. The film, on paper, isn’t really that great, but it does what it is supposed to do, introduce new characters, entertain, and sell toys. Each time I watch this film, I am entertained and my mouth waters for more. Do I recommend it? Yes, thought I am a bit of a fanboy, I highly encourage you to check this out!

5 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: The Rocketeer

PLOT:

Straight from the pages of a pulp comic from a past era, The Rocketeer recreates 1930’s Hollywood, complete with gangsters, Nazi spies, and the growth of the Age of Aviation. Young pilot Cliff Secord stumbles on a top secret rocket-pack and with the help of his mechanic/mentor, Peevy, he attempts to save his girl and stop the Nazis as The Rocketeer

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Meet the Rocketeer. We all know the Marvel and DC Heroes. Those that didn’t grow up with comics are sure to have become familiar with the character through the movies, I would imagine, but there other superheroes out there that don’t come from the major comics publishers. Of course there are those that are bit more in the spotlight, such as Hellboy and Spawn, but what about those that come from the pulp serials of the 30s and 40s. Heroes like The Shadow, The Spirit, The Phantom, and of course, The Rocketeer! Everyone I’ve mention so far has had a film, with varying degrees of success and critical acclaim. The Rocketeer is perhaps the one that received the best re-introduction (out of the pulp heroes, at least). The film does a great job of introducing us to his alter ego and slowly (as time allows) developing him into the titular character. We see him fumble and fail as he learns and that endears him to us as an audience, as opposed to if he just strapped on that rocket pack and automatically knew how to use it and fight the bad guys. Now that I think about it, when I finish typing this up, I may go track down some Rocketeer comics.

Old Hollywood. I am a fan of Old Hollywood. The glitz, glamour, talent, filmmaking, and even the scandals. As this is set in the 1938 Hollywood and the antagonist is an actor, they had to get the look and feel down. The magic of old Hollywood is none more apparent than when we see Jennifer Connelly’s character in that white dinner dress! She takes us back in time to a point where stars were stars, not political advocates. As this is Jazz Appreciation Month, I must also mention the soundtrack. Lots of big band jazz, which was the norm for this era. However, many films ignore that and use other genres where the artists’ grandparents weren’t even born, yet.

Lighten up. This film was released in 1991. Back then, people were allowed to have fun. Movies and TV shows didn’t make you want to slit your wrist because they were so dark and depressing. The light tone of this film probably wouldn’t fly today, pardon the pun, but that doesn’t make this a bad film. As I always say, dark works for Batman because that is who the character is, but try making Spider-Man or the Flash dark and you ruin everything about them, as they are fun loving characters, at least in comparison to Batman, Daredevil, Moon Knight, the Punisher, etc. Granted, I do know much about the comic origins of the Rocketeer, but from what I hear, the film got the tone down pat.

What didn’t I like?

Again with the Nazis? Yes, I realize this film takes place as the Nazis were rising to power, but that doesn’t mean we have to have them as the antagonistic threat. Sure, they could have been revealed as a mysterious power behind everything, much as the film does, but it just seems like everytime a villainous threat is needed for anything set in the 30s and 40s, its Nazis…or gangsters. Here we have both, but the gangsters are reduced to lackeys until they have a moment of clarity and patriotism. Who should have been the antagonist? Maybe a rival aviation company? A bigger role for the gangsters? Just someone who isn’t a Nazi.

Wardrobe change. The Rocketeer’s “costume” consists of a brown leather jacket and pants that pilots wore during this era. My problem with this is that Cliff runs around wearing the same thing. The film moves a little fast for the characters to pick up on it, but it is quite obvious. Not like Batman disguising his voice or Superman putting on glasses and changing his posture and attitude. Cliff is only missing the helmet. At the very least, he could have changed jackets!

Sinclair. Neville Sinclair. As far as villains go, I don’t have much of an issue with Timothy Dalton’s Neville Sinclair, other than the aforementioned reliance on using Nazis. So, what’s the big deal? Well, Sinclair is obviously based on Errol Flynn. Dalton captures the image that most people have of Flynn, a suave playboy, talented swashbuckling actor, Nazi spy. The latter was a rumor until the late 80s, if I recall, when it was proven false. For me, though, I have to wonder. There is a scene where they are filming a movie and an accident happens. When the dust is cleared, Clark Gable has been stabbed. It is implied that Sinclair may have done it, but nothing comes from it. I wonder if this was a bigger part of the original story, or if it was just a throwaway scene just so they could say that they had someone who was supposed to be Clark Gable (thought it is never said that is who he is).

Final verdict:

What did I think of The Rocketeer? This is a film that I fondly remember from my youth. Being an Air Force brat, I am drawn towards films about planes and aviation, add in the superhero factor and the Old Hollywood setting and this is still a pleasant watch for me. However, this is not a film without its problems. Most of which involve the limit of technology at the time and the lack of faith in comic book properties at the time. That said, this film has gone on to create a bit of a legacy. I understand there is a Disney show based on it now and there is a rumor about plans for a ride at one of the Disney parks. All that aside, this a fun popcorn movie filled with action, comedy, thrills, and even a love story thrown in for good measure. I highly recommend you give it a shot and have some fun. It is a much needed shot of joy in a world where superheroes seem to have forgotten what that is.

4  3/4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Star Wars: The Foce Awakens

PLOT:

30 years after the defeat of Darth Vader and the Empire, Rey, a scavenger from the planet Jakku, finds a BB-8 droid that knows the whereabouts of the long lost Luke Skywalker. Rey, as well as a rogue stormtrooper and two smugglers, are thrown into the middle of a battle between the Resistance and the daunting legions of the First Order. 

REVIEW:

What did I like?

New hope. For the most part, I am going to try and review this without the knowledge (and i use that term loosely) of the 2 films that followed this one. Having said that, let’s go back to 2015. No pandemic, everything wasn’t politicized, twitter wasn’t a cesspool proving how horrible the internet is, etc. Headed into the holiday season that year, one thing was really on everyone’s mind. What would the new Star Wars film look/feel like. It had been so long since the last one. There was so much hope and excitement going into this and, as I sat here watching it again, I felt that hope again. Oh, if only….

Finn. The initial marketing for this film seemed to focus on Finn, a stormtrooper who didn’t believe in killing and wanted to do what was right. Later in the film, and explored more so in the other entries of this trilogy, it is explained that he was orphaned and conditioned, like the other stormtroopers of this generation. I wonder why they stopped with the clones, though. Guess that is something covered in a book somewhere. Anyway, Finn is special not just because he’s a defected stormtrooper, but because he’s just a regular guy. No force powers, no special lineage, he’s definitely not the chosen one. He’s just Finn, a guy who wants to do what’s right. Couldn’t we use more characters like this in all media (and real life) today?

Reunited. One of the big things that circulated this film’s release was that Luke, Leia, and Han would be returning. How big those roles were was not discussed, but it was confirmed that they would be appearing, tying this trilogy to the original (holy) trilogy. While the passage of time is more than apparent on all of them (Father Time catches up to all of us), it was still great to see them back in the roles that made them stars or, in Harrison Ford’s case, springboarded him into superstardom. Even better is the fact that they weren’t just glorified cameos, they are actually part of the story (Luke is a cameo in this one, but the next film he more than makes up for it)

What didn’t I like?

What could have been. As I stated earlier, my aim is to focus on this film and not the sequel trilogy. That being said, there are so many things that are set up here and were never paid off. For instance, Finn wielding a lightsaber. The last I read/heard about this is that you have to commune with the force or be force sensitive. This film seems to set up that Finn, especially being an orphan, could possess some sort of connection to the Force, but that is never touched back on and he spends the rest of the movies simping, to use the current vernacular, for Rey. Captain Phasma…a female stormtrooper? with silver armor and cape? Surely she’s got to be bad ass, right? Truth be told, she has a couple of moments, but in the grand scheme of things, she’s just a glorified henchman. I’ve heard that she has some moments in the books, though. So there is that, I guess. So much potential, just in these two examples and there are many others that perhaps could warrant a post on their own, but because the director of the next film was such a non-fan and….wait, let me finish this review before I get on my soapbox.

Finn and Rey. It seems that there was a plan in place for Finn and Rey to get together in the long run. Spoiler alert…that didn’t happen. Why? I cannot tell you, other than the inconsistency of these 3 films. There is speculation that the powers that be were listening to those on the internet who wanted to “ship” Finn and Poe, but never pulled the trigger. A friend of mine has the theory that it was never going to happen between Finn and Rey because of the color of their skin. I don’t buy into that, then again, Finn was a major piece of the promotional material here in the US, but almost nonexistent when it went over to China. At any rate, the sparks are starting to fly as this film goes on, but we never see that again. Another what could have been, I guess.

Deja vu. When I watched for the very first time in the theater (remember those days?), I commented to my friend afterwards that this was basically a remake of the original Star Wars. I still hold to that. Many of the same beats are there. Chosen on on a desert planet, film starts with the antagonists, hotshot pilot enters fairly early on, bad guys torture individual, bad guys blow up planet(s), lightsaber battle at film’s climax, etc., etc.,etc. Does this make it a bad film? No, but one of things this franchise in known for…or used to be known for…is innovation. That is doing something different each time out. Say what you will about the prequel trilogy, they all standout in some way. Be it the pod races, Darth Maul, taking a chance with a character like Jar Jar, etc. Rehashing one of greatest films in all of sci-fi may not have been the best choice, and yet, it isn’t the worst thing to happen during the Disney era of Star Wars

Final verdict:

What did I think of The Force Awakens? Believe it or not, I actually like it. Yes, I have my criticisms, but most of those come from watching this after the trilogy has been completed *COUGH* ruined *COUGH* With that said, it is obvious that this film was setting up events down the road, but the outline was thrown out by the director of the next film who singlehandedly ruined the franchise. If I decide to review that one, be warned, it will most likely be more of a rant than anything. Back to this film, the story, while derivative of the og film works. The easter eggs that can be found throughout the film are a treat for the real fans of the franchise who can appreciate them. The acting isn’t the greatest but, let’s be real, everyone in these things either overacts or is very wooden. In the end, I would highly recommend this film, preferably as a stand alone flick.

4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Bugsy Malone

PLOT:

Unusual spoof of old gangster movies in which a cast made up entirely of children sings and dances its way around Prohibition-era sets, substituting toy guns and whipped cream for machine guns and bullets.

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Kids say the darndest things. Some of the dialogue leads me to believe this was supposed to have been a normal gangster flick at one point, but then the director or someone had the idea to feature child actors. Because of this, some of the lines don’t quite work with a 12 yr kid playing a mob boss uttering them, as opposed to 50 yr old man. Sure, you can go for the “aww, its cute” angle, but that doesn’t work as well as you think. Should the script have been punched up a little better? Perhaps, if for no other reason than to make this age appropriate. Then again, watering down these lines might take away what makes the film special.

Splurge. I’m a huge fan of tommy guns. For me, it isn’t a gangster flick without them. I think this goes back to the shootout at the end of Dick Tracy, but I can’t be for certain. With this young cast, you can’t use real guns. Well, I guess they could have used cap guns, but that wouldn’t have translated on screen, most likely. The decision to use guns loaded with cream pies turned out to be a genius move. Not only does it fit the younger tone of this flick, but it serves as a suitable replacement for bullets.

Gangster feel. As an obvious spoof of gangster films, there is a genuine feel of a gangster flick to be had while watching. If you ignore the fact that these are kids, take out the songs, and turn the pies into bullets, this would be a legit gangster film rivaling The Godfather. Ok, let’s not go that far, but this is surprisingly well written film. You can argue that the characters could be fleshed out a bit more, aside from Bugsy and Blousey, but it works for what the film is trying to do. Remember this isn’t some deep drama.

What didn’t I like?

A matter of life and death. For almost the whole film, when someone is shot with a splurge gun or hit with a pie, it is implied that they are killed yet in the last scene there is “mass shooting” in Fat Sam’s Speakeasy. Nearly everyone is hit with multiple pies, and yet no one “dies”. This leaves the audience wondering what are the stakes? Why do they get to live and everyone else dies? Obviously, you can’t end a film like this on a downer, which is the reason for the change in “rules”, but it still throws the viewer off. Also, who threw that flour?!?

Stage to screen. There is a stage version of this film but I don’t know which came first. To that point, many of the cast members seem as if they were trained (or training) for the stage, rather than performing on the big screen. What does that mean? Well, stage actors tend to be a bit more stiff and dare I say, wooden. Screen actors are a bit more fluid. Scott Baio and Jodie Foster, both of which attained success on screen, show this the best. Hmm…maybe that is why they went on to have careers while the rest of this cast, save for a couple never did anything or at least anything of note after this.

Songs. The music in the film is actually pretty good, but I have a couple of issues. First, this a gangster flick set in the Depression era, yet most of the songs sound a bit more modern. I’m not saying this needed to be a full on big band score, but some of the more contemporary songs could have been given a different twist. Second, when the singing kicks in, adult voices are used. One of the selling points of this flick is the young cast, yet they have adults singing for them? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? This is best shown when the character of Blousey belts out a hauntingly beautiful ballad in her audition. The girl is maybe 75 lbs dripping wet and has a bit of a harpy speaking voice, so there is no way that singing voice could come out of her!

Final verdict:

What did I ultimately think of Bugsy Malone? I think back to the first time I saw this. Back in the dark ages of the early 90s when A & E showed classic movies. I was shocked to see a child cast, but impressed with that they were able to do. Nearly 30 yrs later and this is still a film that I enjoy to the fullest. With an enjoyable book of songs, some fun antics, and a passable love story, this is a good time for all. I highly recommend it.

4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Charlie’s Angels

PLOT:

Sabina Wilson (Kristen Stewart), Elena Houghlin (Naomi Scott), and Jane Kano (Ella Balinska) are working for the mysterious Charles Townsend (Robert Clotworthy), whose security and investigative agency has expanded internationally. With the world’s smartest, bravest, and most highly trained women all over the globe, there are now teams of Angels guided by multiple Bosleys taking on the toughest jobs everywhere.

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Expansion. Charlie’s Angels has been around since the 70s, but for most people it starts with the 2000 film. Mostly because old TV shows are getting increasingly hard to find. One key aspect expanded on from the 2000s films is that of Bosley. I believe in the show, he was just one guy, but in the films, because they had to replace Bill Murray with Bernie Mac, that became more of a name or position. In this film, it is shown that there are many Bosleys, some are some rather big name personalities, too. I found it interesting that they chose to do this. It served as a sort of connecting point to the other films.

Action. Elizabeth Banks’ only other feature film credit as a director is Pitch Perfect 2. While there were a couple of action scenes in there, nothing was on the scale of this which makes it that much more impressive how great these action segments are. Jumping out of planes, chasing through Istanbul, kicking ass and taking names at a party, it all works splendidly and if she can get over her feminist agenda, she could have a future as an action director, should she so choose.

Twist. I won’t spoil the twist that happens near the end, but I will say that the way things are shown up to that point throws the viewer off the scent, making the reveal much more shocking. So many moves have twists and turns that the audience can see coming from a mile away. It was refreshing to not know what was about to happen for once.

What didn’t I like?

Connection. In the 2000 version, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz had a connection that was almost, if not very sisterly. I have only seen a couple of episodes of the original TV series, but I understand those women were close, as well. These 3…well…I never feel any kind of kinship. Granted, they are just getting together, but they all exist and nothing more. A few times they show some kind of camaraderie, but it feels forced. The connection is what makes the Angels a great team and, conversely, why this version will be forgotten, if they haven’t been already.

Men bad. I had my theories as to why this film was made when I saw the first trailer, but I never thought that any would appear to be true. As I was watching this flick, I noticed that there is not a single redeemable male character. Well, maybe the “hot nerd”, but he’s almost a non character. Every chance this film gets to put women over men, it does. The most insulting of these instances happens near the end when Charlie is “shown”. Instead of man sitting in the char, it is shown to be a woman using a modulator, completely throwing away some 40-50 yrs of lore about the legendary Charlie just for some feminist agenda. The bad guy(s) are all male, as if to say, men bad, women good. I don’t believe there is a single female antagonist or even a henchwoman.

Want over need. Who wanted this? I don’t know of anyone that was screaming for a Charlie’s Angels reboot. The 2000 films are highly entertaining and, while they aren’t the greatest, they are fun action comedies. This is just something that Elizabeth Banks pushed down some Hollywood execs throat to get made, thinking it would be a big hit when, in fact, it broke even, at best. Maybe, and I know this is a foreign concept, perhaps someone should come up with an *GASP* ORIGINAL IDEA!!! I bet that would make beau koo bucks, but studios are too worried about losing money, so they keep recycling and bastardizing old properties. *SIGH*

Final verdict:

What did I think of this version of Charlie’s Angels? It is not a bad film. The girls play their parts. Naomi Scott is gorgeous, likeable, and the bright spot of the film for me. Patrick Stewart sleepwalks his way through this looking older than he does in Logan. Don’t get me started on the photoshop job they do with him at his retirement ceremony (or how they replaced Bill Murray, Bernie Mac, and the guy that played Charlie in the 70s in those pictures). I think if there was some fun to be had in this film, it wouldn’t be so bad but, as it is, this is just an action flick that drags on. Kristen Stewart tries too hard to be funny and likable, but, like the rest of the film, it just doesn’t work. Do I recommend this? No, either watch the 70s show or the 2000s films for your Angel fix.

2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Enola Holmes

PLOT:

When Enola Holmes-Sherlock’s teen sister-discovers her mother missing, she sets off to find her, becoming a super-sleuth in her own right as she outwits her famous brother and unravels a dangerous conspiracy around a mysterious young Lord..

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Holmes family tree. Everyone is more than familiar with Sherlock Holmes. Thanks to the TV series Sherlock and the Robert Downey, Jr. Sherlock Holmes films, we’re a little familiar with Mycroft, but this is the first we’ve heard of Enola. I am not familiar enough with the lore to know if she is in the books or someone that was just created. At any rate, it is nice to see that Sherlock isn’t the only genius member of the family. Maybe one day we can get to know the parents. These smarts had to come from somewhere, right?

Tone. It seems everything associated with Sherlock Holmes has a dark tone to it. Hell, even Disney’s The Great Mouse Detective, which is loosely based on a couple of Holmes’ adventures isn’t exactly a lighthearted romp, like many of their other productions. This film, mostly because the protagonist is only 16, is much lighter. The difference is noticeable and enjoyable. Also of note, how often do we see 19th century Britain in the daytime?!?

What is love? It is becoming more and more of a normal thing to not have a love story in films, but when you have teenagers it is more noticeable. Enola meets a boy, but they don’t spend the whole film chasing after each other. As a matter of fact, they are kind of indifferent. It is implied that there are feelings, but that’s about it until the end, and even then it isn’t like they go skipping off into the sunset holding hands. Now, should there be a sequel or further adventures, I would encourage the writers to throw in a bit of a true love interest for Miss Enola Holmes.

What didn’t I like?

Unsolved mystery. One of the main plot points is the mystery of to where Enola’s mother has disappeared. I won’t spoil anything about that case, but I will say that it is never revealed what she is up to or why she left. Perhaps that is something that they are holding for another time, but it still leaves the viewer with unanswered questions.

Useless boy(s). The initial reviews I read/heard about this film led be to believe that this was a hardcore feminist flick. While there are some moments that show that, mostly how they go out of their way to have her 1-up Sherlock and using the term “useless boy” more often than needed. I get that this was a way to establish Enola and how she’s on the same level as Sherlock and that she doesn’t need a boy in her life, but no need to result to name calling.

Casting. Henry Cavil is the titular character in Netflix’s The Witcher, not to mention he’s Superman. It takes some major working out to look the part for those roles, to be sure. Cavill is also a fairly decent actor. However, does anyone look at him and think Sherlock Holmes? I mean, he it literally about to bust out of his suit when you see him in this flick. I know, this is a small complaint, it was just a slight distraction for me.

Final verdict:

What did I think of Enola Holmes? Well, it was much more entertaining that I imagined it would be. Millie Bobby Brown really surprised me, but that’s probably because she doesn’t say much on Stranger Things. The story is above average and the relationship between the Holmes’, particularly Sherlock is enjoyable. Rumor is this is the start of a franchise. No complaints from me on that. Check this out if you get the chance!

4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: The Karate Kid

PLOT:

Daniel and his mother move from New Jersey to California. She has a wonderful new job, but Daniel quickly discovers that a dark haired Italian boy with a Jersey accent doesn’t fit into the blond surfer crowd. Daniel manages to talk his way out of some fights, but he is finally cornered by several who belong to the same karate school. As Daniel is passing out from the beating he sees Miyagi, the elderly gardener leaps into the fray and save him by outfighting half a dozen teenagers. Miyagi and Daniel soon find out the real motivator behind the boys’ violent attitude in the form of their karate teacher. Miyagi promises to teach Daniel karate and arranges a fight at the all-valley tournament some months off. When his training begins, Daniel doesn’t understand what he is being shown. Miyagi seems more interested in having Daniel paint fences and wax cars than teaching him Karate.

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Relatable. In school, I wasn’t the popular kid, nor was I the nerd. However, because I was the perpetual new kid, I was a target for bullies, particularly in junior high. For this reason, I feel a connection to Daniel. Both of us being the new kid, just trying to meet some new people to hang out with, and then being picked on for no good reason. I did eventually take karate, as well. No tournament victories/entries, though.

Puppy love. In movies such as this, particular those made and/or set in the 80s, there seems to be a love story thrown in for good measure. Nine times out of 10, though, these are highly unbelievable. No chemistry at all between the two people. Not the case with Daniel and Ali (Ralph Macchio and Elisabeth Shue). There seems to be some real sparks there. I don’t believe they were together off-screen, but one has to wonder. Seeing these two kids together, particularly on their first date is sure to put a smile on your even the most hardened curmudgeon.

Non-montage montage. Movies from the 80s are well known for their montages. As a matter of fact, this film has a couple. However, Daniel’s training is done mostly day by day. The filmmakers could have easily montaged their way through this and developed something else or included another part of the story, but they wisely chose to show Daniel learning the craft through muscle memory as well as developing a relationship with Mr. Miyagi. It works better than it sounded on paper, I’m sure.

What didn’t I like?

Vicious. There is a scene about 30 min or so into the film where Daniel and Mr. Miyagi walk in the Cobra Kai dojo and we see that it is run like a machine. Karate is all about discipline and precision, but this was militaristic. It was as if they were taught to do nothing but eat, sleep, and breath karate and the mantra their sensei has taught them, “no mercy”. This goes even further when in the tournament, all the students seem to be going for the kill, so to speak…save for one who seemed to have remorse for doing what his teacher told him. Hell, even Johnny was reluctant to fight an injured Daniel, let alone “sweep the leg”. People like Martin Kove’s character are despicable excuses for human beings. Unhappy creatures that want to pass their pain and misery down to others, as can been in Cobra Kai. While he makes for a good villain, looking at him with today’s filter (something I couldn’t help but do) makes the events of this film regarding Johnny and his “gang” even worse.

Who’s Johnny?.That brings me to the next point. Who is Johnny? Sure, he’s the typical blonde bully of most films of this era. He’s the de facto #1 student of the Cobra Kai dojo and the defending champion of the All-City karate tournament, but what else do we know about him? We know Ali is from a well to do family. Daniel just moved out to California with his mom. Johnny…well, we don’t know anything about him until the Cobra Kai series fleshes him out. I’m not saying we needed all that in this film, but just something so that he’s more than just a snarling villain.

You call those friends?. I wasn’t going to comment on this, but they just on my nerves. Ali has these two friends, you know the usual types that sabotage their friends relationship if they don’t like the guy or think they can do better, regardless of how she feels. Well, in the few scenes they are in, they get progressively more bitchy towards Daniel. It really makes me wonder how is she friends with them? On a plus note, one of them does give some information to Daniel that helps him save his relationship with Ali, but that wasn’t enough to save me opinion of them.

Final verdict:

As a child of the 80s, The Karate Kid was one of the must see films. Has it withstood the test of time? There some things that are a little dates, mostly pop culture things, but the story works no matter what era you put it in and that is why this film is still popular today, despite that crappy remake. With Cobra Kai coming to Netflix today, I decided to go back and watch the films and refresh my memory a bit (and remember how big of a crush I had on Elizabeth Shue). Do I recommend this picture? Yes, I do. Watch out for the scene where Mr. Miyagi gets drunk. It will break your heart…those that have one.

5 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Artemis Fowl

PLOT:

Disney’s “Artemis Fowl,” based on the beloved book by Eoin Colfer, is a fantastical, spellbinding adventure that follows the journey of 12-year-old genius Artemis Fowl, a descendant of a long line of criminal masterminds, as he desperately tries to save his father who has been kidnapped. In order to pay his ransom, Artemis must infiltrate an ancient, underground civilization—the amazingly advanced world of fairies—and bring the kidnapper the Aculos, the fairies’ most powerful and coveted magical device. To locate the elusive object, cunning Artemis concocts a dangerous plan—so dangerous that he ultimately finds himself in a perilous war of wits with the all-powerful fairies.

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Creatures great and small. This is a film that deals with the world of fantasy. We’re talking elves, dwarves, giants, trolls, etc. There has been a trend in the last, say 20 yrs or so to make said creatures nightmarish looking or, at least, not the bubble gum happy creatures we read about as kids, excluding the Trolls movies, of course. Much has been about this film, good and bad, but one thing that cannot be chided is character design. Much care was taken to make these creatures fit an aesthetic and not look like they are fake. I won’t mention how one set of creatures look like Kreacher from the Harry Potter movies. That is a topic for another time.

Grand Dame. Judi Dench plays the chief of the faeries, who appear to be a sort of police force. At 85 yrs old, she is showing her age, sadly. I think in all of her scenes she stood in one place and barked her lines, but she did so with the eloquence we have come to know her for over the years. Sure, a younger actress who could have gotten in on some of the action would have been more exciting, but sometimes you just have to learn from the masters.

Keep up the pace. Films that drag on are a pet peeve of mine, especially if they are sci-fi/action flicks. There is some lull in this picture, particularly when we are allegedly getting to know our titular character, if that’s what they want to call the little time we spend with him, but for the most part thing move along at a fast enough pace that interest isn’t lost. Now, whether said interest is actually there, is something totally different. 

What didn’t I like?

Still not Harry Potter. For the last 20 yrs, give or take, there has been a vested interest in launching YA franchises. 3 have been successful, Harry Potter, Twilight (pains me to say that), and The Hunger Games. Percy Jackson, Divergent, and The Chronicles of Narnia had limited success, but neither is looked at in the light they were meant to and there are countless other failures that have just plain been forgotten. Anyone remember Stardust? What about The Golden Compass? Due to the fact that this film is such a deviation from the source material, and not in a good way, as well as the reception it seems to have been getting, it seems as if this will be one of those forgotten YA attempts. Such a shame, as this could have been something.

Deviations from the book. Until the first trailer for this film was released, I had never heard of this book series. I still haven’t read it, but I do know that there are some major deviations from the source material. Most notably of those is that Artemis is supposed to be the villain, rather than the hero. This was probably changed because sensitive American audiences can’t handle a villainous kid, as opposed to the asshole, entitled kids we get in every other movie. It is my understanding that Artemis Sr is a crime boss, the faerie Holly Smart is actually the protagonist of the series, the film’s villain Opal is more powerful than we see in the few scenes it has. All of this is to say, perhaps they should have left things as they were meant to be, because the changes have not been well received.

That’s entertainment? I’ll be real with you. There was a struggle to keep awake. Had it not been for the climactic showdown at Fowl Manor, i probably would have fallen asleep. Now, this may be the result of watching this on a computer screen rather than the big screen, as this was originally intended (despite the constant delays). Apparently entertainment these days involves a snooty kid, a precocious faerie, and lots of CG.

Final verdict:

The first trailer for Artemis Fowl had me excited. That was until a friend told to me read up on the book, watch it again, and notice the differences. Perhaps had I not done that, I’d probably have had a more entertaining experience. As it is, though, that ruined it for me. That said, this not a horrible film. There is obvious care taken care, particularly with the creatures. The script could use some work and the casting isn’t particularly the best, but this is a film that…exists. Do I recommend it? No, but it is out there if you want to check it out. I probably won’t be doing this again, though.

2 3/4 out of 5 stars

Movie Review: Robocop

 

PLOT:

Detroit – in the future – is crime-ridden and run by a massive company. The company has developed a huge crime-fighting robot, which unfortunately develops a rather dangerous glitch. The company sees a way to get back in favor with the public when policeman Alex Murphy is killed by a street gang. Murphy’s body is reconstructed within a steel shell and called RoboCop. RoboCop is very successful against criminals and becomes a target of supervillain Boddicker.

REVIEW:

What did I like?

Foreshadowing. Given the current cultural climate, I was hesitant to review this movie. However, as it progressed, I started noticing some thing that were predicted in this version of the future. The decent of Detroit (obviously, it isn’t this bad, but it isn’t what it should be), corporations running things, cops being disrespected (stop randomly killing people and maybe they can get some of that respect back), etc. All of this makes this film much more relevant than just a sci-fi action flick.

Stop. I’m a huge fan of stop-motion animation. To me, it is leagues better and more pleasing to the eye than CG, although it is more time consuming to produce. The ED-209, a villainous counter project to Robocop is brought to life using this technique. This is a hi-tech killing machine in a futuristic world, but the contrast of stop motion is really intriguing. There is a scene where he falls down the stairs that wouldn’t have been as effective done in CG. The stop-motion director while not in the league of the great Rey Harryhausen, does a decent enough job of bringing this killing machine to life and keeping him a threat, while also a bit of comic relief.

Music. Every great hero has a memorable theme song. Superman, Batman, The Lone Ranger, Captain America, Spider-Man, Green Hornet, the Avengers, etc, all have theme songs that inspire the listener when they hear these strains. Take a second and hum your favorite or go listen to one and notice how you feel when you return. Robocop is no different, as he has his own that starts out dark and mysterious, only to grow into a triumphant pinnacle. The score for the rest of the film fits perfectly, as well. Nothing too over the top or distracting, just enough to compliment the scenes.

What didn’t I like?

Too close to being prophetic. I mentioned earlier how the foreshadowing this film has regarding today’s society was one of the things I liked. On the flip side, though, it may be a bit too close to reality. The major focus of this is the cooprotations. We are all well aware that it isn’t the politicians in Washington that run this country, but rather the corporations they have in their pockets telling them what to do. I believe this is a topic covered in one of the sequels, but the seeds of the corporation ruling things is clearly seen here, especially when they just barge into the police station and more or less demand the use of their resources and no one is to talk to or even look at Robocop.

Forgotten satire. Seemingly lost in the legacy of this picture is the fact it is actually a satire on how desensitized society was becoming towards violence. There are a handful of newsbreaks throughout the film and each time we see smiling anchors deliver the news that some unspeakable act of violence has taken place.There is also something to be said about corporate greed, but I’ve gone on enough about that in 2 topics, already.

Unlikable. The acting in this film isn’t great, but it isn’t horrible, either. For me, there is a lack of likable characters. Obviously, none of the villains need be liked, though for a time, Kurtwood Smith’s Boddiker was gaining a bit of sympathy. It seemed as if the creator of the Robocop project would be a likable guy, but he’s just as much of an ass as some of the villains. Robocop’s partner, played by Nancy Allen is close to being likable, but that’s because she’s seemingly the only female cast member. As far as Robocop himself goes…we don’t get enough time with Officer Murphy to tell anything, but he does seem like a genuinely nice guy. All that personality is wiped out when he becomes Robocop. To quote Obi-Wan, “he’s more machine now than man….”

Final verdict:

Robocop is perhaps the kind of movie we need now. A satire on how desensitized we have become to violence and corporate greed. A violent masterpiece that reminds us of how vile human beings can be (as if we didn’t already know that with these senseless killing done by police). This is a film that makes a statement, but is also a fun watch from beginning to end. I highly recommend!

5 out of 5 stars